Yesterday I went back to a day job.  

I’ve been marinating in my business and trying to figure out why I haven’t been showing up for it 100%. 

I had no idea.  Something felt off.  I was stopping myself from really looking at it.  Instead I was just looking for a way to pay the bills once my unemployment ran out instead of diving deep into what I want to create in my life and my business.

Honestly, while the past 6 months have been the least I’ve worked in the last 15 years, they have also been some of the most stressful.  I thought leaving my day job and having time and space to develop my business would be wonderful.    But then I found myself sleeping in every morning.  Then making excuses for not making dinner, or for not working out.  I basically sat on my ass and did nothing for 6 months.  Well, not exactly nothing, but nothing of consequence that I made a difference in my health or in my business.

Then about three weeks ago, I had an Akashic record reading with a friend of mine from Holistic MBA.  I was considering enrolling in her 10 month program and that was the entry point to see if we were a good fit.

The reading put things into much better perspective for me.  Ilearned that I am deeply in the midst of some radical change so that I can become a leader of women ready to make their own change and lead.  All of the yuck I’ve been feeling over the last year has been necessary in order for me to facilitate change in others, and guide them to bloom into their bright and brilliant selves so they too can serve and uncover and step into their purpose.  While I am still not sure the stewing process is over, I know now that it’s ok to be where I am.   To be uncertain, raw, and untethered.  And to be 100% honest about it, knowing that the women that will be helped by my struggle are exactly those women I am meant to serve.

The day job is just a means to an end.  Something to make me feel stable and secure while everything else is upended.

I am remaining open, and starting to dive deep. 

I am here for you in your struggle too, and serve you with love and truth.

Together we can go forward into this unknown landscape and make a difference, shine a light, laugh, and marvel in all that surrounds us and all that we are. 

All while working a day job.

 

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