(This post is part of a 100 Blogger blog tour for the book The Declaration of You! by Michelle Ward and Jessica Swift Learn more — and join us! — by clicking here.) This weeks theme is:
Uniquity is all the things that make you uniquely YOU! All of your interests, dreams, history, likes, loves, passions, hobbies, dislikes, hates, worries, pet peeves, etc. Uniquity is everything that is a part of you, and how you are set apart from every other person.
It might be hard to be fully YOU when you are out in the world, nervous about people judging you, or thinking you are weird. Do you find that’s the case for you?
If so, what REALLY stops you for bringing your uniqueness to the forefront?
For me, it used to be big ole FEAR that if I am truly myself and share that in all its rawness and honesty and authenticity, I would be REJECTED, and ultimately no one would love me. I’ve learned a lot over the years, however, and I’ve found that your true champions, those that love you the most, those that understand you and accept you and revel in you, even if only a few, do so because they cherish every part of the awesomeness that is you that you have shared. And first and foremost, rocking your uniquity starts with you loving and accepting yourself.
When you begin to OWN your uniquity, you will feel a more in control over your happiness and personal freedom. When you believe in yourself, and everything that makes you different from others, you can do anything.
So how can you be yourself in all your glory, and rock out despite the fear?
First, pick one or two people who you consider mentors or role models and make a list of what draws you to them/ what you admire about them.
Most often, these are the traits you see and love in yourself already, even if you are not conscious of it. Write down how you embody these traits right now.
Then comes the juicy part. Write down the scary parts. The parts of you you don’t like to admit to (the dark sides, the freak sides). Can you find these parts in your mentors too? If not, can you find examples of people in social media or among your friends or colleagues that share these parts of themselves, and are supported for it? Use this to validate yourself and the process.
Then start to tell people about the parts of you that you were previously nervous to share, in little doses, safe spaces. See how they react? In every instance I’ve done this, people are a pleasantly surprised AND deeply interested.
No matter what, after sharing, don’t assume they are thinking something negative about you when you have no idea what they are thinking (you know who you are). Take them at face, or word, value. If they compliment you, take it. Revel in it. Use it as fodder to prove that your uniquity is worth sharing. If they don’t, do not use that as evidence that you are found lacking. We all have our own inner critics, and most times when we start to talk about all of our unique and different parts, it causes others to question theirs. THAT is the reaction you are seeing.
Ultimately, the only opinion about you that matters is yours. What other people think about you is none of your business…however, if they share that they feel negatively about you (to you or to others), ask yourself two things:
1) Is it the real you that they might feel negatively about (do they know the real you yet)?
2) If so, why are you surrounding yourself with people that make you feel unworthy? Time to upgrade the people you hang out with in that case because, no matter what…
You are UNIQUE and worthy of respect, love, and unabashed exuberant acceptance.